Kidnapped! I haven’t read this R.L. Stevenson book, but I know a similar plot.

…so, you kidnap a guy and ask one of his aides for ransom. This is how a typical telecon goes:

Flaming Dragon dude: We are Flaming Dragon. Speedman is with us now. For 50 million, you will get him back.

Les Grossman: This is Les Grossman. Who is this?

Flaming Dragon dude: [agitated voice] This is Flaming Dragon.

Les Grossman: Okay. Flaming Dragon. Fuckface. First, take a big step back and literally fuck your own face. Now, I don’t know what kind of pan-Pacific bullshit you’re trying to pull here, but Asia, Jack, is my territory. So whatever you’re thinking, you better think again. Otherwise, I’m gonna have to head down there, and I will rain down an ungodly fucking firestorm upon you. You’re gonna have to call the fucking United Nations and get a fucking binding resolution to keep me from fucking destroying you. I am talking scorched earth, motherfucker. I will massacre you. I will fuck you up.

[Hangs up the phone!]

Les Grossman: Could you find out who that was? Go.

That’s Tom Cruise, the studio executive behind Tropic Thunder.